Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Things the Adoption Group Forgot to Mention

collected from Greytalk 03/19/2008

1.We would have to buy endless amounts of stuffies.
2.You would spend more money on collars then your own clothes.
3.We'd never be able to have just one!
4.They sure didn't tell me about the "silent but deadly" gas some of these guys have.
5.That my lfe would never be the same
6.That you would have to explain why your dog is wearing a coat to everyone you meet.7.That coat buying is addictive and you need one for every sort of occasion (rain, cold, pjs, sun)
8.They give you the best behaved one first.
9.They failed to mention a small detail....separation anxiety. Ouch.
10.That your dogs would eventually end up wearing nicer coats than yours!!
11.That every outing would turn into a mini meet& greet!
12.That you swear there is a bit of bloodhound mixed in with them!
13.That you would become the neighborhood celebrity and everyone wants to know when you are going to start racing(never mind that it's illegal here) him/her
14.Crazy fits (aka: zoomies).
15.That our backyard would never be the same again16.That we would have to purchase a king size bed so there would be room for the humans17.That all my vacations would revolve around dog friendly hotels.
18.That even if they DON'T have separation anxiety, you won't be able to leave them with a boarder on vacation because you just don't know if they'll be "okay".
19.That your husband (who objected in the first place to getting a dog) would want to get #4!!!
20.That the most used phrase in the house would be "get the $&#@#&*# out of the kitchen!!!"
21.That some day you'd be having a birthday party for your pup, but never seem to be able to get one together for your spouse.
22.That you would take your hound/s to the vet for the least little thing, and spend more on their medical care than you do on yourself!23.Oh, one more thing -- you'll be buying all kinds of things to dress your hound up for every holiday imaginable.24.I keep thinking of more things -- you'll have to learn new meanings for words -- roaching, ETS, Frito Feet, and on, and on.
25.That you would be so addicted/obsessed with their loving spirit and unmatched loyalty you would spend every waking moment of "free" time researching, admiring, helping and loving on them. To the point that others think you have lost it
26.Your car windows and picture windows and low mirrors and door glass will never ever be clean again! And you won't even care...
27.That you would have to have more than 2 and your parents would be too scared to visit you. They say those BIG dogs belong outside then you have to explain no they are NOT outside dogs. They are my kids and I treat them like one, then they say you are better to those dogs than us, you spend more time with them.
28.that you'll need to have more that one couch, just so you have some place to sit other than on the floor!
29.That they can require large amounts of people bedspace. dogs will always be better dressed than i'll ever be.
31.That your car/clothes will become an advertisement for greyhound adoption.32.That even tho you chipped on your first adoption, the next couple of years you'd be adopting 5 more.
33.That your "family vacations" will now be going to Greyhound events all over the country.
34.That contrary to popular belief the ARE, in fact, actually dogs. Not hothouse flowers and fragile glass ornaments. They are wonderful, lovng, hardy *gasp* DOGS.
35.That the adoption fee is $200 and the new hound mobile you will buy next month will be $30,000...
36.That you will have to buy a new car/van to haul all of your hounds around. Never mind that you would never consider a new vehicle otherwise!
37.That your life prior to being owned by greyhounds was just a waste of time......
38.That other dog breeds will always look fat
39.That many many strangers, mostly men, will drop to their knees in front of your dog, cradle his face in their hands, murmur his name repeatedly and kiss him over and over again.
40.that every future purchase you make, whether it be a car, couch, house, etc. will ALL revolve around what works best for the dogs
41.that I would fall in love sight unseen with a pup!! Even though he has cut loose and peed all over the back of my truck, and this morning punched me in the eye with a paw (trying to love on me!) and has the worst gas ever (grandpa gave him a handful of milk bone biscuts) that all I have to do is see his sweet brown eyes and everything is all good again!!!
42.That your greys will eat better and more expensive food than you do...43.That you will have more places for the dogs to lay (ala dog beds) than actual seats in our family room..44.That you will join a message board full of strangers and talk about the breed nonstop...45.and you meet people from asid board you tell them the names of your greys before introducing yourself...
46.that we would be joining secret santa and sometimes secret bunny and buying stuffies, treats and greyhound gifts, not only for our dogs, but for other greyhounds thousands of miles away.47.that we would become addicted48.that we would sleep many nights hanging on the side of the bed for dear life because we don't want to disturb the dog...
49.That it is perfectly normal for your hounds to wear jammies so they aren't cold.50.That, yes, you do leave the tv on for the dog51.That you see nothing unusual about finishing a drink after the hound has decided they are thirsty too.
52.Not to expect much sleep the first night you bring home a hound. Hoo boy.
53.That when the GSD happens you run faster than if its your own kids crying.
54.That WE would experience separation anxiety every time we have to leave the hound(s) at home. 55.That "no dogs on the furniture," would lead to "Well, maybe just the bed," and then to both of us sitting on the floor, because the pups are sprawled across the couch and chair. 56.That I, a life-long vegetarian, would EVER buy, prepare and serve raw meat57.That our sense of our dogs' size would change so much. I talked about this in the "amazing, shrinking greyhound" thread a few months ago. Gabe, especially, seemed HUGE when we brought him home. Now, he hardly seems like a big dog. 58.That our sense of what's "normal," would change so much. Our families think we're nuts for having two big dogs. We've already preadopted #3 and will probably adopt #4 next year when I finish law school.
59.That I would avidly read and respond in so many posts about dog poop. (And yes, even write some of them!
60.That my father would ever touch a dog again, let alone buy her a special charm for her ID tagset (St Francis)
61.That I would even consider stalking someone because of their dog.
62.That I would turn the hottest guy down for a date ebcause he thought my dog was "Fugly"
63.That this xl breed would look normal and that other dogs would be midgets. (I actually asked my visiting brother last summer when i saw his dog - that they ahve had for over 10 years - "When did you get a new dog?" Because she looked SO much smaller than I remembered!!)
64.That greyhounds are attention-getters every place you go! When I was dating my fiance, we had Frank at the farmer's market and I handed him the leash while I went to buy some produce... I told him "be careful, he's a chick magnet!" and he laughed me off... ha... when I came back he handed me the leash and said I was right! He'd been practically mobbed with people wanting to meet and ask questions about Frankie. He's used to it now!
65.I won't board my pup because I am the one who developed separation anxiety!
66.That you would be willing to sleep on the corner of a king size bed!
67.That you would shed tears for dogs/owners you haven't met.
68.That you WILL risk getting a speeding ticket trying to chase down someone who has a greyhound magnet/sticker/license plate on their car JUST to see if it's someone from GT.
69.that I would break up with more guys than I can keep track of because they just don't get my obsession
70.That you'd graduate from buying collars that cost more than the clothes you buy for yourself to fancy coats. Then you'd buy more collars because they match the fancy coats. 71.Your pups will eat better than you do.72.That you spend so much time talking about your pups, your co-works a)think you're crazy, think you need to stop buying so many stuffed animals and c) mistake your pups for your kids.
73.All of the above and,,,that I would be vacumming the house more then i ever thougth i would ("these dogs don't shed,,,who came up with that one???).
74.That you'll decide to buy a house based SOLELY on the fact that your landlord veto'd a third dog, and that while buying said house, your realtor will throw his hands up in exasperation and say, "I KNOW what your dogs are looking for in a house...but what do YOU GUYS need????"
75.They failed to mention to me just how thoroughly these dogs wrap themselves around your heart.I truly can't believe how much I love them.
76.That when your landlord becomes a pain, you will buy a house to make sure you can keep your dog
77.That you would become so fascinated with poo that you would stand outside looking at it with your wife saying, "Yes it has improved a lot this week. I will call Diana and let her know."
78.Sometimes you have to bribe him to eat!
79.that your camera's memory card will hold 200 photos, 199 of which feature your greyhounds.
80.that when you watch your grey run his/her heart out, your own heart will fill with so much joy that you think it will surely burst.
81.They didn't tell you that you wouldn't be recognized by neighborhood people if you don't have the hounds with you. When they see me without the pups they ask where they are, not Hi, How are you? They ask how the hounds are
82.They did not tell me that my parents would suddenly have no interest in me and have actually banned me from coming over without the "grandbabies"
83.That when you adopt a greyhound you also get the most wonderful support and social infrastructure as a bonus84.That I would be picking out floor covering based on the needs of my dogs
85.that from the second you met them you wondered what took you so long to get one.
86.that your skin kids wondered why there were more pictures of the dog you have had for 2 months vs the teens you have had for no less than 14 YEARS.
87.that you time yourself when you are out of the house so you don't leave her lonely for too long - not because she will get in trouble but because you don't want her upset.
88.That at the vet or PetSmart, you quietly snicker when you see a white fluffy (or any other breed) being dropped off to be groomed, because yours hasn't had a bath in a year!
89.They forgot to tell me that my shattered heart would never be the same again after they cross to the Bridge.
90.How they can run like the wind, except at bath time. Brenda puts on the brakes and I push from behind to just get her into the bathroom.
91.That a Greyhound would make you smile everyday and show you what love really is.
92.That a roach was something you would WANT to see!
93.That a dog who barks very little can still be incredibly verbal -- tooth chattering, snuffling purrs, and lip wuffling come to mind.94.That you would be forever checking for those last 3 ribs and hip points just to make sure the dog everybody thinks is too skinny doesn't, in fact, get fat.95.That you would begin to think dogs with heads bigger than their necks look ungainly and odd.96.That you would willingly pamper an 80 pound grey more than you ever thought to pamper your 5 pound Yorkie. (Well, a grey does deserve it!)97.That a grey would forever spoil you in regards to other dogs. When I am old and can barely walk, I will still have a grey. Hopefully, a senior grey who won't mind my limitations.98.That a vacation without your dog is really no vacation at all.99.That once a grey shares his soul with you, you are never the same.
100.That your son and his GF, who rarely visit, now stop by often... to see THE DOG.101.That your DH didn't give YOU kiss one yesterday, but DID kiss THE DOG on the head last night.
102.That you'll just about have a heart attack after hearing the greyhound scream of death... only to realize your hound is screaming because her leg is tangled in a blanket or because he stepped on something gross. And that it's when you see your greyhound take a nasty spill of the deck and she gets back up and starts running without uttering a peep that you'll end up taking her to the vet for stitches.
103.That you're joining a cult
104.That you would more often show pictures of your hounds than your kids.
105.That you would get completely choked up reading threads like this (making your co-worker in the cube next to you wonder if you've finally gone mental) because everything is so TRUE!
106.That we would spend THOUSANDS of dollars in vet bills without blinking an eye....107.That our lives would be 110% devoted to them, their needs and wants to the point of scheduling our lives around their schedule and doing everything we can to include them to where we go. Arrive late and leave early to functions to minimize their time alone,108.We did not get a pet, they got themselves PEOPLE.
109.That you would want to adopt them all and that with just one look they can melt your heart.
110.That the dog would be a tourist attraction.
111.that of all the breeds I've had, this one would be my favorite forever.112.and that I'd become a collar addict...
113.Your unfenced yard was fine for 41 years, then when the greyhounds moved in, it was fenced within 3 months
114.That your hounds will get an account on a message board so they can "talk" to other hounds.
115.that you would quit your paying job to become the crazy greyhound lady...............and LOVE IT !
116.that I would become one of "those people" who have to take their dogs everywhere with them...117.that I would drive halfway across the country just so that my dog could spend Christmas with me at my parents' house...118.that my 98 year old Grandmother, who flat out told me I was crazy to have such a big dog in the house, would be disappointed that I didn't bring my dog with when I went to visit her while home on the aforementioned Christmas trip...
119.They didn't tell me that my skin kids would be jealous of our greyhound (I like to tell myself they are just kidding, but I'm not so sure sometimes!)
120.that my dog could tell a story with just the look in her eyes
121.that those who aren't fascinated by her will be scared by the sight of her- people in my neighborhood will cross the street to stay away
122.that the pupper who looked massive the day I got her would so quickly seem not to be very big at all
123.that every other dog we see will seem overweight
124.That your life will revolve around them.
125.That your time with them will fly.
126.They didn't tell us that after you've had a grey and lost him..a house without a grey is no home at all.
127.That greys are better at guilt trips then mom ever thought about being!
128.that you would spend more time and money than is sensible driving around to every store that sells meat or pet food looking for turkey necks or tripe...129.that a stop for gas in Alberta could mean someone formerly from Florida catching up to you just so she could talk to and pet your dogs, and find out she worked with greys at a Florida track...130.that muddy footprints and hair on the floor, on the bed and on your pillow are really a minor inconvenience...131.that a prize winning garden is much less important than the girlies who turned it into their own private race track...132.that even though you KNOW your dogs have enough toys, you still break down and get just one more (for each!) ...
133.That I would stay on the couch to sleep or watch tv instead of my own bed because I didn't want to disturb the sweet, drooling, sleepy grey on my lap at 2am
134.Your hands might be really dry for the first few days since you'll wash them all the time. But don't worry--you don't need special lotion or anything. Your standards of "hygiene" will change pretty quickly and that will take care of it.
135.That you become neurotic...... humm I might have been this way before but it was hidden.
136.That a thunderstorm could wreck such havoc on your night. 137.That you won't sleep the first week because you wake up every time your precious new houndie moves in her sleep.138.And that even though you swore you would never move again when you moved to Austin in August, you are now pretty sure you need a place with a fenced yard so the dog can run pull out the packing boxes.
139.that a greyhound is not "just a dog", but a wonderful creature that shares his or her soul with you....something rare and beautiful that brings great joy and great sorrow.... one ever told me that greyhounds smile!
141.That you can actually pas gas yourself, blame it on the dog, and no one will think that you are lying.
142.that even once you lose your first grey (and don't get another right away), you MUST go to M&Gs, events & Dewey just to get your grey-fixes!!
143.That you would have to give up your name and be forever known as "the greyhound lady/guy"
144.If you adopt one that needs ample leash work GOOD LUCK! Bentley does great at learning - its my neighbors that kill us!It's even harder when working with a pack. People expect you to be able to talk for 20 minutes when really you just want to work on walking (in my case) 4 dogs at a time. They all know "wait" when alone but it's so much harder with other dogs there!145.You're expected to know EVERY greyhound owner on the planet. "oh, Greg has greyhounds. He's a cop so I'm sure you know him." Nope. Never heard of him. Or my favorite; "Oh, it's a race dog! My daughter's pediatrician RESCUES those dogs! Dr...ummm...oh, YOU know who I mean." Yea, don't know Dr.Whatshisname either.146.Everyone (that's never owned a grey) knows what my greyhounds needs. One guy chased me down screaming to give me a GPA pamplet to "inform me". The gesture was nice, but I've read every book I can. Twice (with each adoption I read it...dorky but true). Then he looked at me like I was jerk when I politely declined. He was really uhappy looking when I told him my hounds have already been helping me at their meet and greets. what?
147.I was not told that I, an introverted (former) cat person, would look forward to meet and greets.148.That if my hound doesn't have an "eargasm" I feel disappointed.149."No, he's not a Great Dane, those are BIG."150.My favorite so far "How can you possibly get that dog enough exercise?" 151.My adoption group has learned from my hound just how successful these guys can be at drive-thru window mooching.
152.that i would buy doggie necklaces to match the collars that i bought for them -- matching & co-ordinating of course! (also must match the different coats they have!)
153.that I would gladly give up my spot on the king size bed and move to the couch if my greys need more room one night!154.that I wouldn't want to go on vacation and leave my greys!155.that I would get so excited and amazed everytime they choose to do their laps around the yard...poetry in motion...just beautiful!!156.that I would make sure that my greys are covered up at night so they don't get cold!! they often have more blankets than I do!
157.That your husband, who rolled his eyes at every greyhound collar, coat, treat, forum, etc, would TUCK THE DOG IN every night when you weren't looking.
158.that a dog wearing a muzzle doesn't necessarily mean that the dog will bite. More likely than not ~ poop is a favorite snack and the muzzle with a poop guard will help prevent that.
159.That you would brush your dog's teeth every day, and become obsessed with ways to improve their dental cleanliness and breath. 160.That time stops when you pet and snuggle with that bunny soft fur.161.That the expression "air snaps" is meaningful, and precious when your hound does it looking up at you, coming out of a stretch.
162.that your standards for proper dog behavior would be much higher after owning a grey. How can people let their dogs jump on you and pull them down the street and push at you constantly to keep petting, throw the ball, and drool on everything, etc.?
163.That I would ignore the king-size bed upstairs and destroy my back sleeping on the couch for over a year becuase my senior arthritic old grammaw-dog couldn't handle the stairs.
164.That I would be so excited to meet complete strangers and their dogs on vacation (people from GT).165.That though they do things that should make us mad, we find ourselves trying not to let them see us stifle a giggle.166.That you would spend as much time researching products to prepare for bringing home your first grey as you did preparing for the birth of your first child.
167.That greetings include great big kisses on the face, face-to-face, that is. And if you're not greeted that way, you feel sad!!
168.That talking about ways to stop eating poop is normal dinner conversation
169.That you will laugh harder than you've ever laughed before170.That you will cry even harder watching your remaining Grey try to imitate the behavior of the first one, just to fill the void.171.That the aforementioned experience will leave you forever changed, for the better.
172.That when your dog destoys a stuffy, tears apart the garbage, eats the couch, etc. rather than yell the first thing you will do is take pictures so that you can post them on GT.
173.That when you come home to find that your dog has pooped/peed/vomited in the house, your first response is "Oh, honey, I'm sorry I wasn't here to let you outside!" not "omg you stupid animal!"
174.That my small female greyhound would always get mistaken for a Whippet. (does a 65lb greyhound look like a whippet?)
175.That you will be the owner of a ton of worthless "nose print" art on each & every window or piece of glass in your house or car.

1 comment:

HandH said...

Wow, that's quite a list. I've done most of them, but I'm in the process of undoing No.115, having to go back to paid work. Your hounds are beautiful!